Obama Accuses Putin Of Needlessly Using The N Word During Rap Battle.

President Barack Obama has today accused the Russian President and stalwart of the Better Together campaign Vladimir Putin of needlessly using the N word during a rap battle summit on foreign policy.

In a heated exchange covering Russian targets in Syria, the Ukraine, how to helpfully bomb people and who looks best with their shirt off it is rumoured Putin opening rap gambit went along the lines of, “ Yo Motherf**ker.  I ain’t sayin’ let’s go Nuclear.  But who armed ISIS is like totally unclear!”

Obama retorted that this was a pretty lame start to a rap battle, but was willing to concede that nothing really rhymes with the N word Nuclear.  However, he also added that in his personal opinion and experience as a member of the people community that it was really below the belt to use the Nuclear word due to the distress it causes to wide groups of nearly everybody.

After agreeing they’d reached an impasse it was decided to start again. After losing the coin toss Obama was nominated to go first.  He shot from the Presidential hip and was said to be,” Rhyming like a bitch.” Below is a transcript of the event.

OBAMA. (ON THE SUBJECT OF THE N WORD) “There ain’t no word that comes any biggah! Starts with an N…say it to the wrong guy…Ends with a triggah!”

PUTIN:  “For rhyming it appears you’ve got a knack. Not a bad effort cos you’re not really black!”

OBAMA.  “Can we get back to the subject of the Bomb. I’m not the only brother that’s had sex with your mom.”

PUTIN.  “When it comes to sex I can go all day! But you’ll never find me at a wedding that’s gay!”

OBAMA.  “Look we really need to jive on what to do with ISIS. I’ll go for the obvious and say now it’s a crisis.”

PUTIN. “Yo, you rhyme like a junkie high on crack. I’ll say it now, I’ll say it proud, The U.S.S.R. is BACK!”

After these opening gambits the battle pretty much descended into jibes about who was the most heterosexual. Talks are to resume with a fresh rap battle on Israel and who shot Tupac next month.

Author: Mind Palaver

John and Elle are two voices, among many, advocating and living with acute mental health conditions.

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