Despite pressure from the LGBT Chilcot Inquiry refuses to come out.

Despite many attempts by both the media, pressure groups and the LGBT the Chilcot Inquiry still refuses to be “out” in the public domain.
In a statement it was remarked, “I will never be publicly “out”. “The relevance of whether I come out or not isn’t really in the public interest.” “If I do choose to come out you can guarantee blame will spread wider than Tony Blairs inner circle.”
The final remark is thought to be innuendos.
When Tony Blair himself was approached in regard to Chilcot coming out he remarked, “I don’t think people are really that interested. Chilcot is an open secret anyway. Can’t we just leave it at that and let sleeping piles of bodies lie. And when I say lie I’m obviously telling the truth. I can only go one way. I’ve not got a reverse gear…matron.”
Again the final sentence is thought to be innuendos (It’s still quite popular in gay culture. See Graham Norton)
It has been rumoured that over the years Chilcot has been in an occasional acquaintance of Cliff Richard, another suspected inspector of closet interiors. When questioned on this Chilcot remarked, “Look I find the question is Cliff Richard gay to be highly disrespectful. The question should be…Is SIR Cliff Richard gay.”
In a final statement Chilcot remarked, “Until we have received and evaluated responses from all those who have been given the opportunity to respond I cannot give an accurate estimate for how long it will then take to complete our work but it is still clear that will take some further months I therefore see no realistic prospect of delivering our report to you before the end of this year”
It’s not certain if this final statement is innuendos, a euphemism or just yet another obvious delaying tactic to stop the facts ever being in the public domain.
The Chilcot inquiry shall be appearing in Panto at Sunderland Gaiety Theatre this December as Widow Twankey

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

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