Poor turn out for messiahs leaving do.

Public speaker, cult leader and self-proclaimed king of the Jews Jesus Christ (no relation) held his leaving do at Jerusalem and District working mens club last Thursday.

Despite being an at times popular figure only 12 were in attendance. A disgruntled Jesus was heard to remark, “Bloody typical. If I’m handing out free sandwiches I get 5000. Water into wine, the party goes on for three days. Time for me to go now…12! Bloody 12! And that one there’s a grass!”

This final remark was aimed at a Mr. Judas Iscariot whom for reasons not yet known had to leave early.

There may have been some truth in this remark as towards the end of the night the local police arrived and arrested Jesus on a complaint that he was making too much noise.

Friends tried to console him by remarking, “OK so this Thursday’s a bad day. Never mind tomorrow’s the start of the weekend Friday should be a good one!”

One friend who certainly couldn’t be accused of informing was local fisherman and amateur blogger Peter (surname unknown) On several occasions he was questioned about his relationship with Mr Christ and is rumoured to have denied all knowledge of him.

On arrival the Romans organised a whip round.

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s