Some distinct personality traits of Cat and dog people…

I lifted the below piece of informed journalism and in no way obvious piece of click bait from the Huffington PostSo below that I’ve added some of my own thoughts…

“Cats are unpredictable, but that’s not entirely true of cat owners. So-called “cat people” tend to share a lot of the same personality traits, as studies have proven having a cat at home can say a lot about a person’s character, health and dating life.

For example, News reports research shows cat owners often exhibit introverted qualities, especially compared to dog owners, who tend to be more outgoing and energetic. Cat owners have also been found to be smarter, more sensitive and more non-conformist than their canine-loving counterparts.

But that doesn’t mean those with fancy felines win the age-old cat people vs. dog people debate: While there are great health benefits to owning a pet of any kind, cat owners also earn fewer health benefits than dog owners. And as for relationships, there may be some truth to that single cat lady stereotype.”

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Really don’t like cats or worse still cat people.

CAT PEOPLE.

  1. Completely indifferent to dogs and dog people. But my god why have your life constantly dictated to by some idiot animal that requires constant exercise and an on hand toilet attendant.

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Are more extrovert and socially will point out, “I’m a people person.”

CAT PEOPLE.

  1. 57% of cat people are Nazis/super villains on the run. They see people as collateral.

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Crave unconditional love.

CAT PEOPLE.

  1. Can see the benefits of enforced population control.

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Stand a better chance of being rescued in a natural disaster by their pet.

CAT PEOPLE.

     4. Caused the so called “natural disaster” from inside their secret volcano base.

DOG PEOPLE.

     5. Only 2% of people don’t like dogs. This could explain the term mans best friend.

CAT PEOPLE.

     5. 27% of people don’t like cats. The cats seem indifferent to this.   

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Clips of dogs doing cool things they’ve been trained to do are popular on the internet.

CAT PEOPLE.

  1. Clips of cats just being cats are more popular. Cats are trained in improvisation by the Russian masters.

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Now that the 5 pence plastic bag charge has been introduced economically Dog owners are on a shakier footing.

CAT PEOPLE.

  1. If your lonely aunt is a cat person have a look in her spare plastic bag drawer. Your inheritance has now gone up by around 60 quid.

DOG PEOPLE.

  1. Dog people can control their pet through scolding. The dog will show fear and submission by putting their tail between its legs.

CAT PEOPLE.

    8.  When a cat is scolded they tend to call in their secretary to take an accurate dictation of your complaint. All points will      then be considered and held against you as evidence at a future time.

DOG PEOPLE.

    9. Dog people feel more protection from burglars.

CAT PEOPLE

    9. Accept that “Cat” is a type of burglar.

DOG PEOPLE.

    10. Dog peoples pets enjoy sitting on their lap because they love them.

CAT PEOPLE.

     10.  A cat persons pet will sit on their lap because they are warm…even for the short period after death. Once the body cools they’ll move in with a neighbour.

DOG PEOPLE.

  11. A dog person can turn 1000 dogs into their own personal army.

CAT PEOPLE.

     11. Even God could exercise no control over 1000 cats.

DOG PEOPLE.

     12.  Can identify with their pet on an almost human level. If dogs could talk they’d be in endless conversation.

CAT PEOPLE.

    12. If cats could talk they’d probably still ignore you.

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

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