OI! Google…pay your frickin taxes.

In 1986 after a four year in-depth and skilled apprenticeship I qualified as a journeyman printer. A good trade. Respected and financially sound due to the training involved. If you told me then that for the next ten years my wages were going to stay the same while the board of directors and shareholders cut of profits were going to rise astronomically. Also as an extra incentive the board and shareholders aren’t going to pay ANY tax and you the employee are going to be expected to cover the loss…well there would have been a national strike of print workers and we would have knocked such ridiculously unfair conditions back to the turn of the century where they belong. But that is exactly what has happened to your average workers wage and conditions over the past decade. With little resistance.

There are many reasons we’ve submitted to such appalling remuneration for our work. I think one of the biggies is lack of housing and everyone being mortgaged up to the hilt. It’s much more difficult to strike with a mortgage over your head. When Thatcher sold off all the housing stock I’m quite certain that was part of the plan.

This week were told Google would pay 130 million in tax in the UK. It turns out that’s about 3% of profits. So as a self employed person I immediately got on the phone to Inland Revenue to see if I could strike the same deal. 11 years  ago when I first became self employed I used to ring the Revenue and after a few rings get an answer, solve the problem I was having and pay some tax. Today I rang the phone for 25 minutes with no answer. You know why? Because there is no bugger to answer it. The government have slashed jobs in that sector. That’s how serious they are about appropriate taxes being collected.

Today at Prime Ministers question time our glorious leader David “piggy” Cameron was confronted on the issue of Google’s tax avoidance. His answer…”It was the same under the last Labour Government.” What sort of moral justification is that?  It’s like smearing the walls of your house in shit because prior to you moving in a psychopath used to live there and that’s what they did.

Bizarrely this week if you type tax avoidance into Google it takes you to articles about Google’s tax avoidance!

And it never seems to end! I was in Starbucks the other day with my laptop buying something on Amazon and it struck me the only person paying any tax in that particular situation was me.

Here’s some interesting figures and estimates from the UKs financial status of the past year.

120 BILLION LOST through tax avoidance and evasion.

16 Billion PROFIT from unclaimed benefits.

1.2 BILLION LOST to benefit fraud.

Out of these three what do you hear most about. That’s right the benefit fraud. That’s where the government are focusing their recourses. That’s why your wages have stayed the same for 10 years, because of benefit scroungers, absolutely nothing to do with a bunch of elites milking the entire country and your household dry . It’s bullshit of the highest order. However, due to media saturation from press barons who are all tax avoiders themselves…this is where the public thinks the blame lies. We’re at a point now where the public for the sake of their and their children’s futures need to wake up and smell the coffee…and make sure whoever is selling you the coffee is paying for the privilege of doing so.

 

 

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

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