Conservative Christian.

So you’re a Conservative Christian

Gods Heaven is your future

To me you’re just a paradox

Like some vegetarian butcher

Did Jesus cure the cripple

With almighty power of kirk

Just to sanction all his benefits

‘Cos now he’s fit for work

2000 disability deaths

Of the lame you are a hater

I don’t think “blessed are the money lenders”

Were the words of our creator

So you’re a Conservative Christian

Because you go to church

Yet immigrants from holy lands

You’d like to give the birch

I don’t think Jeesy Peeps ethnicity

Sits well with Nigel Farage

Does this mean that you proclaim

“I’m a car” when standing in a garage

So you’re a Conservative Christian

Your Pro Life stance is nonsense

The stuff of fluff and gloss

For once we’re born into this world

You couldn’t give a toss

So on you go you hypocrite

Ring loud the old church bell

If your imaginary friend goes by his book

Well see you all in hell.

 

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

1 thought on “Conservative Christian.”

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