The Young Conservative Rap.

With appearances at Glastonbury and support from the UK Grime scene  Jeremy Corbyn is making huge inroads with the youth vote. Rumours abound that Tory HQ are trying to figure out how to connect with UK “yoof” themselves. Apparently the Young Conservatives have even released their own rap.  

We are the Tories and we are street.
Well we are if your dad is one of the elites.
To get a majority we just weren’t able.
But if you shout strong we say stable.
Kids don’t wanna pay no student fees.
But there’s no magic money tree.
Unless you’re a member of the D.U.P.
Fuck the Pope.
He’s not dope.
There’s a poor person.
Have some soap.
Word.
Douglas Hurd.
Strong and stable.
Fuck the disabled.
You wanna hear more.
Shout fuck the poor.
Fuck the poor.
Fuck the poor.
Fuck the poor.
When it comes to cruelty we can’t beaten.
Cos we’re the toff massive and we come from Eton.
There’s no pay rise for the public sector.
We got the same principles as Hannibal Lecter.
If you can’t eat it’s us you thank.
Just get in line at the nearest foodbank.
We’re not really gangsta’ like Dr Dre
But we like running in the fields with Theresa May.
Been spending most our lives
Living in a tax haven paradise.
Of the NHS we shall be rid
To Richard Branson or the highest bid.
It’s all down to our homie Jeremy Hunt
Ladedadedumdum…yup he’s a c**t
One time
Two time
Three times and we stop your benefits.

 

 

 

Author: johnscottcomedy

John has been involved in comedy for 17 years. Here's some nice things people have said..... GLASGOW HERALD. Given that we’ve had indyref, a general election and Jeremy Corbyn since the last Edinburgh Fringe, you might expect there to be more self-confessed “political” comedians around this year. Oh, a lot of acts will dip a toe in “UKIP are nasty” shallows, but it takes someone like John Scott to dive in head-first and punch every hideous sea creature he meets right between the eyes. Before you know it, he’s chewed up and spat out austerity, Margaret Thatcher, the paedophile scandal, benefit fraud, racism, class, homophobia, Mhairi Black and a sneezing attack on a bus (ok, the last one isn’t strictly political, but it is a great anecdote, so worth a mention). He reserves a special venom for Tony Blair and the invasion of Iraq but somehow, filtered through his comedy-club delivery, it doesn’t feel like a soapbox diatribe or a trendy-leftie ticking off: this is political comedy built from the grassroots up, an informed opinion column with a spiky sense of humour. Alan Morrison THE LIST. “Confidently told hilarious tales of class-based woe, nothing missed the mark in a superb set where every story was expertly crafted before being subverted with a killer punch line. After practicing comedy for five arduous years, expect to see his name somewhere big very soon.” THE SUN. “John Scott is an excellent comic and this is without doubt the first step on the road to a long and successful career in comedy." EDINBURGH EVENING NEWS. “ Always plays a blinder. Never hits a dry patch. People were literally in tears of laughter.” THE OBSERVER. “Among the top 5 comics emerging from Scotland.” THE SKINNY “A genuinely gifted comedian.” ADELAIDE ROCKS. “Superb! The stand out stand up of the evening.” 100% BIKER “Possibly the funniest Scotsman alive.”

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