
Of all the ironies this life can throw at us the one I find raises an eyebrow most is the notion of the Conservative Christian. Ruth Davidson proudly claims to be one (and a feminist) while pursuing brutal policies against women just this week. David Cameron did the same while his appointed welfare minister Ian Duncan Smith’s policies contributed to over two thousand deaths of those declared “fit for work.”
The list could go on for days. If there’s any truth in Christianity, the hypocrisy of being both Conservative and Christian is perhaps among Satan’s best work.
There’s a joke I sometimes do. It goes…”So I see our Tory prime Minister has declared themselves Christian. That makes sense. Because Jesus hated the poor didn’t he? There was that time he cured the cripple. He said those famous words. “Take up thy bed and walk…You’ve been declared fit for work you scrounging bastard.”
And now a poem…
CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN.
So you’re a Conservative Christian
Gods Heaven is your future
To me you’re just a paradox
Like some vegetarian butcher
Did Jesus cure the cripple
With almighty power of kirk
Just to sanction all his benefits
‘Cos now he’s fit for work
Two Thousand disability deaths
Of the lame you are a hater
I don’t think “blessed are the money lenders”
Were the words of our creator
So you’re a Conservative Christian
Because you go to church
Yet immigrants from holy lands
You’d like to give the birch
I don’t think Jeesy Peeps ethnicity
Sits well with Nigel Farage
Does this mean that you proclaim
“I’m a car” when standing in a garage
So you’re a Conservative Christian
Your Pro Life stance is nonsense
The stuff of fluff and gloss
For once we’re born into this world
You couldn’t give a toss
So on you go you hypocrite
Ring loud the old church bell
If your imaginary friend goes by his book
Well see you all in hell.
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