Jeremy Corbyn Rumoured To Have Put Some Private Part of his Mind Into The Brain Dead

Communist berserker Jeremy Corbyn is rumoured to be at it again. Audacious work for a man already accused of killing kittens every time someone doesn’t eat their crusts, bathing in Panda blood and according to some sources saving all his farts in a jar to only have them released on Jewish holidays.

According to a new book by an anonymous donor to The Conservative party who goes under the codename Daveham, Jeremy Corbyn was involved in a bizarre initiation ritual while becoming leader of an elite dinning club known as The Labour Party.

It is said that while attending a dinner of the shady Labour groups inner sanctum, strict vegetarian Corbyn turned down several attempts by other party members of trying to get him to pose for photographs with a private part of his anatomy in a dead pigs mouth.

Instead Corbyn deflected attention away from said ritual by apparently stating, “Look you lot, you’re not getting me like that. How about we all just calm down and scrap nuclear weapons instead?”

Rather than have the desired calming effect, this statement apparently sent this privileged group into some kind of posh person frenzy with many of the members swapping their red ties for a more off yellow colour. Apparently inner sanctum code for we’ll do whatever we want regardless of public opinion.

Corbyn is then rumoured to have said, “Well fuck off to the Lib Dems if you want. You wont be missed. Look just calm down. I reckon renationalising the railways will be hugely popular. In fact I’m quite popular. How can I be unelectable when I just got elected by the biggest majority in the history of modern politics?”

At this point the Labour group were said to have flown into a frenzy, chanting “Don’t say another fucking word or we’ll have you killed by MI6”

Once Corbyns complete silence was assured he was surrounded and everyone burst into a rousing chorus of The National Anthem whilst photographing Corbyns non commitment.

Some of the best Cameron Pig Memes you may have not seen…and a couple you have.

So that’s the dinner in the oven…as opposed to on the end of my willy…call me old fashioned. I really must get down to some proper writing today rather than posting click bate…it’s just all these pigging distractions.

Here’s some memes you might not have seen. Some are from my very own Sod The Tories Facebook page. STT is a live comedy show we do at The Stand Comedy Club Newcastle. You can find us here and listen to the show….

https://www.facebook.com/sodthetoriesandhaveaniceweek

http://www.gigglebeats.co.uk/2015/07/podcast-john-scotts-sod-the-tories-17/

Other memes have been nicked from Milk The Cow. They’re a very funny crew and you can listen to them here…

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1573460899542004/?fref=tsht

All of this is true…or is someone telling porkies…ok I’ll stop now.

Meme 75

Meme 72

pig 3

pig 8

meme 74

Meme 69

pig 7

pig 4

meme 73

pig 2

pig 2.

pig 5

pig 6

pig 13

pig 11

pig 16

pig 12

pig 14

Things our prime minister should avoid.

1.Putting your penis in a dead pigs mouth.

2. Putting your penis in a dead pigs mouth in front of witnesses.

3. Putting your penis in a dead pigs mouth and having a photo taken for posterity.

4. Any student initiation ritual involving a dead pigs head.

5. Bacon sandwiches. (And photographers)

6. Prime Ministers question time (for the next month or so at least.)

7. Jewish  festivals.

8. George Orwells Animal Farm. (Some pigs are more equal than others etc…)

9. The wife.

10. Pissing off major conservative party donors.

11. The dead pigs relatives.

12. Social media.  (for the next 6 months or so at least)

13. The entire opposition apart from maybe Nick Clegg.

14. Sticking an apple in their mouth.

15. Frazzles (yes we all know how good they are…but really stay clear!)

16. Scotland (actually maybe the outdoors in general.)

17. Boris Johnson.

18. Getting stoned and listening to SUPERTRAMP??? (This really is weird behaviour. )

19. Bill Clinton.

20. Possibly the next election.

21. Definitely his next erection.

22. Selling very expensive pig sperm to the Chinese.

23. Any form of entertaining his children that involves pigs (Babe, Winnie the Poo, hey kids watch what I can do with this… etc…)

24. Telling lies (porkies)

25. George Osborn cocaine and prostitutes.

26. Mincing his words.

27. The Dewsbury County Conservative associations Pig Racing fundraiser.

28. Spam internet or tinned.

29. Kermit the Frog.

30. Puns involving words and phrases like, dispigable, boared, nose in the trough, it’s snout to do with me, Silence of the hams,  etc…

And finally Rebecca Loos. More than anything…Rebecca Loos.