A Christmas message for the generation of the self.

Christmas is coming. But please remember there are people less fortunate than you. And there’s a good reason for that, it’s because you’re better than them! Fuck em! Homeless types are in that situation because they bring it on themselves. How dare they put us on guilt trips as we have to step over them during the sales. Same goes for the unemployed. What’s wrong with an 80 hour week on a zero hours contract? If you don’t want to do it I’m sure we can get some child from the Eastern bloc who’ll be more than happy on £2.50 an hour.

So stuff your face and spend thousands on bling, blood diamonds are probably best for profit margin. Up yours Jesus. Anyway Jesus hated the poor didn’t he? There was that time he cured the cripple. He said, “take up thy bed and walk. you’ve been declared fit for work you scrounging bastard” And as for May and Joseph…what you think we’re paying bedroom tax so you can just freeload for the night! That’s what we believe the rest of the year. So why change all that just because it Christmas? Why spoil 30 years of the self just because of some foggy minded Christian values. Hail Thatcher.

The REAL news. Episode 3. The NHS. (With special guest Dr Rob Galloway A & E consultant)

In the interests of truth and in reaction to the bullshit perpetrated by our established media,  I’ve decided to start posting regular news columns here on the blog. They will hopefully be a mixture of information and some funnies. Please share far and wide.
This is a big one. I have a sister with a chronic illness and I myself am a long term service user of the NHS. Today I received a Facebook message from a woman called Judith who lives in America who wishes to warn of us of the terrible things being done to our NHS and of the grim future these changes will usher in for us all. You can read her thoughts on this at the end of this open letter from one of our A & E Doctors.

An open letter from an A&E doctor:

I am writing to you for your help in trying to stop the unprecedented damage happening to the NHS. Please read, share, like, tweet and tell your friends.

As someone who has the privilege of working for the NHS as an A&E doctor, I see firsthand what is happening. Please trust the real doctors and not the spin-doctors.

The NHS is on its knees and unless things change, it may not survive. It has been attacked, part privatised, demoralised and starved of funds.

We have tried to highlight what is going on; through the media, marches, speeches and endless tweets and facebook posts. But it is not working. Things are getting worse and the NHS, which we all care so much about may soon no longer be able to care for us.
The only things which might save it is if the British public no longer just accept what is happening – but start to fight back. This is above party politics. This is about what we want our society to be like. Fight back for the greatest safety net we have – the knowledge that as a UK taxpayer if we get sick, then we will be looked after; an envy throughout the world.

The NHS was born on the 5th July 1948. Heroes from World War II, no longer wanted to accept a society where if you were rich you would prosper and if you were poor you were left to suffer. It was born in a period of great austerity but money was found because health and welfare was made a priority above all else.

A letter was sent through the door of every citizen. The opening lines were:

“It will provide you with all medical, dental and nursing care. Everyone – rich or poor, man, woman or child – can use any part of it. “

This promise is one we may soon not be able to keep.
The NHS has its problems and needs reform. But its ethos was what made it great; patients before profits, co-operation instead of competition.But the last few years has seen a determined effort to undermine all that is good about the NHS – its socialised system of working for the good of our patients.

The government have started a process of privatisation. Billions have been wasted on re-organisations and competition and contracting out of services to the private sector which have destabilised the hospitals we all use. Despite this, the NHS kept going because of the skills and commitment of its staff.
So, to deliver the politically and ideologically driven plan of reducing the size of the state and selling off the NHS to the private sector – the government have started to attack the staff. Harm the staff and you damage the NHS. A damaged NHS is one which the public would go along with privatising.

If this happens, things will become like the USA where they spend double on health care to what we do, but the money is wasted on profit, beaurocracy and excessive wages and the standards of care are so much lower than in the UK, especially for the poor.
Why are they doing this? It has been their plan all along. The extreme right wing in this country do not believe in working together for the common good. Thy do not believe in the concepts of the NHS. They believe in individuals floating or sinking. Jeremy Hunt even co-authored a book on this 10 years ago in which the authors said the NHS is “no longer relevant in the 21st Century.”
The new contracts they are proposing for junior doctors will mean an exodus of doctors from the NHS. Without these doctors, standards of care will fall, waits will rise and patients will die.
They have said this is about 7 day working. That is just not true. The new contract will harm 7 day working. How do you improve care at weekends if you stop incentivising people to work in jobs with lots of out of hours work by saying evenings and Saturdays are normal working hours.

They have also spun the truth by saying there will be an 11% pay rise to basic pay. But Junior Doctors salaries have a large component made up of supplements because they work so many nights, weekends and evenings. If you cut these payments by more than the basic pay rise it is in fact a pay cut. They have also said they are offering pay protection. But this pay protection will only apply to current doctors in their current posts and the government seem to be hoping that current doctors will happily see their future colleagues get worse terms and conditions. But these future doctors will simply leave the NHS and patients will suffer. You can tell the politicans are lying by simple maths my 6 year old can do. They have said that everyone will get an 11% basic pay rise but the pay envelope will not rise. This does not add up without cutting the pay for those doing out of hours work.
There is so much misinformation and so many lies out there – spun by the politicians and propagated by sections of the press. We need the British public to see through the misinformation, lies and spin and to help us.

Public opinion matters. There may well be a strike by junior doctors. During the strike consultants like me will be doing what we can to make things safe. No one wants the strike – especially not the doctors. They have said they will negotiate with the government as long as the government say they will not impose a contract. That can only be fair – but the government refuses. A strike will be the fault of the government.

If the doctors strike, it would be to protect the NHS and not to harm it. Protect if by forcing the government into a climb down so that they do not bring in these disastrous policies which will lead to so much damage to the NHS.

But it is bigger than just this issue. We as a society must think about our priorities. Do we starve the NHS of resources whilst having tax cuts for millionaires and multinational businesses? Do we value and protect the bankers and speculators who have harmed this country so much? Or do we value and protect the doctors and nurses who heal the country?

We must start to fight back. Do whatever you can to let people know what is happening. Campaign on the street, pubs and ballot box. Contact your MP, sign petitions or join groups such as the NHS Support Federation (www.nhscampaign.org). Even if we win the junior doctor battle and even if Mr Hunt is forced to resign, that is only the first battle in a generational war for the NHS .
Remember what Nye Bevan said on the day the NHS was founded. The NHS will last, as long at there are the folk with the faith to fight for it. We as members of the British public need to have the faith and we need to fight for it.

If we don’t, the NHS which our grandparents so proudly formed, will no longer be there for our children. They may never forgive us.

Yours sincerely

Dr Rob Galloway, A&E Consultant

Here’s what Judith my Facebook friend in America had to say.
“As a US citizen who had to quit working due to chronic auto-immune illnesses, I strongly urge you to take this issue as seriously as possible and do absolutely everything you can think of to save the NHS. I’m familiar with the health situations of many people in the UK through online support groups. Trust me, you most definitely do NOT want privatization and anything like the stress-filled, discriminatory, inadequate, expensive mess we suffer with here, where medical expenses are a leading cause of personal bankruptcy.”
NHS 7.
NHS 1.
NHS 3.
NHS 2.
NHS 4.
So there you have it. We’d also like to add if you drive a Volkswagen and have a love for sausages now would be a really good time to start getting behind your NHS.
Ok well let’s not panic too much. There may be a few lies being told on the NHS but I’m sure we can trust the government on other issues such a welfare….
NHS 3.
Leader of the Labour party and Communist berserker Jeremy Corby has been accused by the Sun News paper of being unpatriotic by not bowing deeply enough at the weekends remembrance service. We asked a news vendor in Blyth Northumbria of his thoughts on this and he directed us towards this…
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So that will be that….
In other news the Sun newspaper has been voted newspaper of the decade….Unfortunately that decade is the 1970s
On other issues Corbyn has claimed he would never press the nuclear button. Well if you can’t trust him to annihilate humanity what can you trust him to do?
Other rumours circulating about Corbyn are that every time you don’t eat your crusts he kills a kitten, he saves all his farts in a jar and releases them on Jewish holidays and is regularly known to take 11 items through the 10 item till…the bastard.
Still with the Labour party they looked a bit confused recently when they said they would support the Fiscal Charter. Then they said they wouldn’t support the Fiscal Charter. Then they went a bit Admiral Akbar from return of the Jedi and announced…
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Well that’s it for todays REAL news. Join us tomorrow when we’ll be asking the is there any need for the Tories to spend 15 million on a Margaret Thatcher museum. We already have them. They’re called coal mines. Sleep well if you can.

The REAL news episode 2. Poverty. (With special guest Zoe Williams)

In the interests of truth and in reaction to the bullshit perpetrated by our established media,  I’ve decided to start posting regular news columns here on the blog. They will hopefully be a mixture of information and some funnies. Please share far and wide…


Our first item comes from the pages of Zoe Williams excellent book Get it together (why we deserve better politics.)   

Poverty is a thing in this country. The UK is the most financially unequal country in Northern Europe, containing the richest area -inner London- and fully 9 of the 10 poorest areas (the only one of the bottom ten not in the UK is Hainaut, in Belgium) the poorest 20 per cent in the UK are poorer than any of their equivalents in North Western Europe (closer to the poor of Slovenia and the Czech Republic). Average wages have dropped 4% since 2010 and had been flat since 2003. Since 2008, real median weekly wages-income determined by its purchasing power; that is, a calculation of wages relative to prices – have fallen by 10.2 %: only wages in Greece have fallen by more. Our train fares are the highest in Europe, we have the second highest levels of fuel poverty. Don’t get me started on housing. As of 2014 after housing costs, 14.6 million people were in poverty – this is 23.2 per cent of the population, and 3.5 million of them are children (this is slightly over one in four kids). One in five families cannot afford a trip to their nearest beach.  900’000 thousand people went to the Trussell Trust in 2013 alone for food, and this is not the only food bank chain in the country.

Poverty in this country has been rising since the 1980s. We’ve been patching it up with personal debt, which went up three and a half times faster than national income in between 1977 and 2008.  But all of us – from the office for Budget Responsibility, to the Centre For Social Justice (a right wing think tank), to the Resolution Foundation ( a left wing think tank), the churches, to the schools, to the activists, to the person standing behind the person at a cashpoint who’s freaking out – we all know it’s there. It’s like a suppurating wound; it hurts, and often we can smell it. Yet something stops us from taking off the dressing and having a proper look.

EDITORS NOTE (that bit about us being able to smell it is very middle class…but we’ll let her off…she’s onside)

Conservatives who like to style themselves ‘caring’ won’t talk about poverty because they don’t think it’s real. Authentic poverty, to them, is the international measure of living on $1.25 a day; it’s the difference between being able to afford clean water and losing your children to cholera. It’s the gulf between subsistence and aspiration, the 50 cents between just about holding it together so that you don’t starve and getting at least one of your children to a point of literacy. That is true poverty, and anything else going by the name is a masquerade. Don’t complain that you’re hungry until you are starving. Don’t complain about work place conditions until you’re in Bangladesh and a building has fallen on your head. In other words, don’t complain until you are dead.


Well thanks for that Zoe and now some thoughts from the conservatives…

DAVID CAMERON SAYS (genuine quote)



Under the present government suicide rates have soared. the government response to this…

rmeme 6


In an effort to appear more down to earth George Osborn recently claimed to be a regular player of Bingo. A Newcastle resident said, “Yeah we’ve all been playing Tory bingo. Everyone is desperate for a full house so we don’t get hammered by the bedroom tax.”  

In a fresh upset it turns out many politicians have a second job – It’s called being an MP.


A man in Oldham had his benefits stopped for failing to complete a work capability assessment. Our viewers are probably thinking, ‘nothing wrong with that’, however the reason he didn’t complete the assessment is because during it he had a heart attack. EDs NOTE…(This isn’t satire this bit this is 100% TRUE)

attack 2


Ian Duncan Smith says he wants the disabled to work their way out of poverty. Despite many disabled people being able to work. It’s rumoured he recently put his foot on a drowning man to see if he’d grow gills.


News just in…The war on terror has now been officially declared as successful as the war on drugs. Zoo-zoologists have announced, “Perhaps we should have a war on pandas…and then they’d be everywhere.”


Recently we initially armed some ‘rebels’ to overthrow the Syrian government, unfortunately they turned out to be ISIS. ISIS are a direct result of our wars on the Taliban and Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Iraq. Now we’re forming a coalition with the Taliban to overthrow ISIS and help keep the Syrian government in place. Medal of Honour was never this confusing.

Never mind here’s a photo of a sexy Fox news reader.fox news 1

That’s just what people want when they’re watching genocide…To be sexually aroused.