Orange President. Orange Prime Minister. We’ve been Tangoed.

To be Tangoed as the adverts used to go was to receive a shock to the system, often by a slap to the face. Which is exactly what Theresa May’s proposals for our future Government has been to the British electorate. You remember Donald Trump massaging his special relationship with Theresa? It was all hand over hand with the threat of a locker room grab to the nether regions hanging in the air. I’ve heard to brighten up her general death like demeanour he advised she should turn Orange like him…I’m not sure forming a government with The DUP was what he meant.

Watching the election results come in the other night was a bit like watching a game of Rugby. There’s a lot of stuff going on that we don’t all exactly understand. Then you get to the end asking, “Did we win? It looks like we won! How come the opposition are getting a penalty in the dying minutes? I THOUGHT WE WERE WINNING!”

I don’t ask much from my future government but I do think it a bit important they all believe Dinosaurs were real. The DUP are putting it lightly a bunch of creationist knuckle draggers. Their manifesto is essentially the Bible with the bins going out every fortnight. Anti LGBT, Climate change deniers, anti catholic. Brexit no longer seems to mean Brexit. Brexit means F**k the Pope. They actually believe the European Union was a Papal conspiracy. It seems the Romans are still very much a threat in their minds.

They’re not so keen on women’s rights either. They’re Anti abortion and believe public breastfeeding is an act of exhibitionism. Obviously putting on a bowler hat and a sash while a full brass band belts out sectarian anthems is the work of shrinking violets.

I can only describe May’s desperate cling to power via the DUP as sociopathic. This is a woman who cares not a jot for consequence as long as she still gets to sit at the top of the table. Watching Theresa May right now is like watching a fart trying to be heard in a hurricane. Flailing around in her MayBot way chanting “Strong and Stable” as her programmers try desperately hard to try and figure out to make her user friendly. It’s impossible. She doesn’t like people. Her alliance with the DUP is actually illegal in regards to the terms of the Good Friday Agreement. A pact for peace in Ireland that the DUP refused to sign. It is also a threat to that peace and should be fought against at every turn over the coming weeks. Perhaps if we’re really nice to them Sinn Fein might choose to take up their seats in parliament and we can redress the balance. Jeremy Corbyn will drag us back to the 70s they cried. Well that doesn’t seem as bad as going back to the 1690s.

However this doesn’t mean all is lost. The exact opposite in fact. I’ve been a supporter of Jeremy Corbyn since before he was elected leader of the Labour Party. I always believed if we got his name on the ballot paper then his policies would chime with the electorate. I believed this because of what the SNP achieved in Scotland and think we owe them a decent nod for bringing compassion back into mainstream politics. The Tory smear campaign against Corbyn in the election was abhorrent. To attempt to label a decent man as a terrorist sympathiser while we were under attack from terrorists was below the lowest of the low. However now that the Tories are having to for a Government with the DUP…well these accusations seem to have…ahem…blown up in their faces. I really did enjoy the Tweet from the Police Federation page that said, “It’s not the amount of MPs you have Theresa it’s what you do with them. You have to do more with less.” How poignant.

For now Corbyn and the SNP wait in the wings. They look like they’re going to play the long game. I don’t think the changes that are coming are some kind of a flash in the pan either. If you look at what’s happening globally voices of the left are coming in from many areas. I think the changes that are coming to this island will be as seismic as the changes Thatcher ushered in and will probably last as long.  The future’s bright, the future is NOT Orange.

 

Cobwebs (Poem)

Had that dream again…wrote a poem.

There are certain cobwebs that just cannot be reached
And as I wake from dreaming you’re back here among the sheets
Over years the dream it changes as the mind rewinds
Memories that first were scathing turn into something kind
Young love is strewn with flowers bright as early morn
But some flowers like the roses also come with thorns
And upon those thorns we get pierced and we see a little blood
But time is like a plaster that mends you back to love
And now that both our lives are fine and strangers we remain
You remember only good things so it wasn’t all in vain
There are certain cobwebs that just cannot be reached
They dance and stir upon the air they rest on memories beach
Some cobwebs are for keeping
To be snagged on when you’re sleeping
And I send you my love
With a laugh and a smile and a shove

Youth.

I wrote this on a long journey the other day…

I remember a boy who always loved rivers
As he screamed and he skipped and he ran
So when the last light is naught but a sliver
I’ll take pride in his complete lack of plan

An infectious laugh brimming in joy
Just another face in the Oi polloi
And we danced
Castles float
Keith transmits
Ice expands
Plastic spins
Charlie fights
Acid lights
Raymond disappears
Nobody here

I remember a boy with no thoughts of the mortal
How he drank and he swore and he sang
And when I see that I let out a chortle
Yet some are long gone from the gang
And we danced
Twirling your stuff
Strutting a bluff
Where is she going
Enough is enough
What have you done with your hair
You burn and you dim like a flare
I can’t remember
It’s fading like embers
Play turns to working
Your bones are for hurting
Warm summer sun
Is this the last one
Sea was for swimming
Nettles for stinging
Is there money for one more ride
I don’t need anything with you by my side
Life is a bitch
Forgive us our sins
Life is a beach
An the tide’s coming in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mind Map

Recently I had a poem published. That was nice. I’m going to enter the same competition next year but for a full body of work I need around 60. So far I’ve got about…err…ten. (And describing some of them as poems is taking that term loosely) So am committing to this in earnest. The piece below came from a writing exercise around mind mapping…but I thought they made a nice collection of words.

MIND MAP.

As I map I think first of the senses of the head.
I am reminded of a joke, “Why do we have nightmares? Isn’t our brain supposed to be on our side?”
I think of youth and a heavy Sunday paper round while listening to The Smiths.
I love to dance, but not as much as I used to.
The countryside is where I grew up.
My mother is old and suffers arthritis.
I like applause.
Making people laugh is as much a duty as it is a joy.
I fight the bully. This was among my dads best advice.
I had a motorbike accident. Lucky.
After 20 years I finally quit smoking. Why did I do that to myself?

The Bench. 2 page sketch.

We were asked to write a two page piece called The Bench…

THE BENCH. 2 PAGE SKETCH

The year is 2061. We are in a central London park. Bernard a representative of OneCorp is processing the final sale of a park bench to Raymond a Scot.

Bernard.   So here’s your investment Raymond and if I do say so a canny purchase.  There are seven benches up for grabs at auction this month and a snip at seventy thousand. This has one previous owner, don’t worry we’ll have the brass dedication plaque to the previous owner’s wife removed. A sorry affair, he was a suicide I believe. All quite common these    days sadly but it does slow down getting these things to sale. Obviously the park is owned  by OneCorp, well we pretty much own the city. As a customer of ours you’ll have daily   access to your property. There’s lots you can do with this my friend, enjoy the view,            treat a friend or perhaps romance a lady eh. Hell I like it so much I could happily live on it.

Raymond. Yes…Live on it. That sounds like a good idea.

Bernard.   Err… I was joking sir. I mean technically as the owner you could indeed live here…but…well I’m assuming if you can afford a bench you’re perhaps in one of the more spacious units in a OneCorp Megastruct. You’re not living in one of the camps are you? You’re a Scot aren’t you? I’m assuming you’re now down here because of the accident.

Raymond. Ah yes the accident.

Bernard.   Yes, jolly bad luck that was. Such an irony as well to think you put all that effort into trying to get rid of nukes then one of the bally things goes up in the air and straight back down on half the population. Bloody awful state of affairs. I hope you didn’t lose anyone.

Raymond. We all lost someone.

Bernard.   Indeed. I am sorry.

Raymond. So you think it was an accident?

Bernard.   I do indeed sir. You’re not one of those conspiracy nuts are you?

Raymond. A conspiracy nut? Conspiracy’s an interesting thing isn’t it? People have studied them for years. Pearl harbour, the Kennedys, Princess Di, nine eleven…a nuke lands on Scotland. Pearl harbour is one that interests me. You know some believe the American government let the Japanese bomb them so it would galvanise the country into joining the war in Europe.

Bernard. Well it’s an interesting theory but…

Raymond. Yes it is and seems entirely plausible to me. Now what if you took that theory and applied it to the “accident” as you call it.

Bernard. Well I can understand your anger old bean but I don’t think Scotland’s in any fit state to mount an invasion.

Raymond. No…not on their own. Anyway who says it would have to be an invasion.

Bernard.   I’m not sure I ascertain your meaning?

Raymond. You see the trouble with people like you and OneCorp is you see Scotland and the Scots as a geographical point on a map, as an accent, a nation, a right pain in the arse of the old empire. Sure when nationalism first arose in that part of the globe it was self-serving and inward looking. But we expected that. We planned for that. But then that        nationalism matured as we knew it would. The idea became more egalitarian, eventually it started asking not just for in independent Scotland but a better type of Scotland. A            fairer Scotland, a country that treated all as equal. Whether they won the independence      or not was a moot point. You see the thing is the idea of what it was to be Scottish would   spread. Next thing you know Iceland have sacked and imprisoned their bankers, and that   was just a start, another example that the world was watching. Freeing Palestine was the big one. That really shook up the old order…But we needed something bigger. Something  that would galvanise not just a country…but a planet.

Bernard.   I’m sorry you say “we” expected that…who the hell is we?

Raymond. Well I suppose you would call us conspirators. Trust me I don’t think that’s quite fitting enough for what’s about to happen.

Bernard.   Right I’m sorry sir but this is sedition you’re talking here and I’m well within my remit as a OneCorp representative to hold you here for questioning.  I’m just going to run a background check on my pad…what’s going on here? Bloody net won’t…

Raymond. Won’t respond. Yes we’ve just taken it. The internet invented by Tim Berners-Lee. A great and noble man, and one of us.

Bernard. Are you insane we have armies.

Raymond. Ah the armies. You know two thirds of the homeless are ex services? I’m afraid your stock isn’t too high with them. Maybe should have looked after them a bit better on your various corporate excursions.

Bernard. The capital, the resources and the banks. You don’t have banks! We have the money! That’s the way of things.

Raymond. The money isn’t real my friend. It isn’t a real resource. Here’s how we look on that. Thanks very much for lending us your invisible wheelbarrow…here you go you can have your invisible wheelbarrow back now.

Bernard.   And what will become of OneCorp? What will become of me?

Raymond. We have everything. We’re on every board of every bit of business that’s of use to us. Look on this as a not too hostile takeover.  A velvet revolution is what they used to call it. As for you…Well this bench now belongs to me, you’re than welcome to spend some time at my place.